Oh, the irony...

Ted: There’s something here, look, unless I’m crazy.

Robin: (exhales) you’re not crazy. I—I don’t know, Ted, I mean we barely know each other and you’re looking at me with that look and it’s like—(struggles)

Ted: Like what?

Robin: like—let’s fall in love, and get married and have kids and drive them to soccer practice.

Ted: I’m not gonna force sports on them unless they’re interested.

Robin: (laughs) It’s a great look. But you’re looking at the wrong girl.

Ted: No, I’m not.

Robin: Yes, you are. I don’t wanna get married right now, maybe ever and if we got together I’d feel like I’d either have to marry you or break your heart and—I just couldn’t do either of those things. Just like you can’t turn off the way you feel.

Ted: (reaches in his Jacket) Click. Off. Let’s make out.

Robin: (laughs) What?

Ted: What? That was the off switch! And I turned it off. I mean sure yes, I wanna fall in love get married blah, blah, blah, but—on the other hand… you… me…the roof.

Robin: There’s no off switch.

Ted: There is an off switch… and it’s off.

Robin: (smiling) no, it’s not.

Ted: (silence) yes, it is. (They draw closer)

Robin: No (smiles)…it’s—not.

Ted:  Yes—it is (they kiss long) No it’s not. You’re right, there’s no off switch. God I wish there was an off switch.

Robin: (sighs) me too.

(Silence. They laugh)

Ted: So...

Robin: we could be friends!

Ted: Oh...

Robin: look, I know it sounds insincere when people say that but… we could.

Ted: I don’t know, Robin. I made such a jackass out of myself here, every time we start hanging out it’ll be like, “Oh—that’s right—I’m a jackass.”

Robin: You’re not a jackass. I’m sorry. I only moved here in April and I’m always working and—I just haven’t met a lot of good people so far. But I understand.

Ted: Well—uh—maybe in a few months after it’s not so fresh, we could all—uh…you know, get a beer.

Robin: yeah. (sighs) That sounds good. I’ll see you, Ted. (walks away)

Ted: Or, you know—now. (Robin looks at Ted) We could all get a beer now.

Robin: (Smiles) I’d like that.